April 16th, 2015: Time Magazine Anoints Kanye West and Kim Kardashian Planet Earth’s Most Influential Married Couple

Twitch, snort, LOL. Planet Earth is home to 7,251,940 ,000 people and counting. Of the nearly 7.3 billion global citizens, the intellectual juggernaut that is Time Magazine, just claimed that a hip-hop rap artist and a woman whose multi-million dollar job is to do nothing useful are among the globe’s 100 most influential people. Time had over seven billion people to choose from, and this is the best they could do.

West is definitely the more productive member of the marriage. Like Billy Mays, he is a master of marketing and self-promotion. I am no fan of rap music, but I am willing to withhold my judgment that West is not a musician of the caliber of B.B. King, Paul McCartney or Gordon Lightfoot. If he can pick up a 12-string guitar and sing Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” without auto-tuning and not sound like an amorous feline, I will give him credit for talent. Otherwise, in my mind, regardless of his awards he remains a 2nd class musician. West is a great entertainer for his fans, for sure, and a tremendous force of ego, but not a great musician.

West’s wife, Kim Kardashian, has turned being wealthy, beautiful and popular into a career. She has little education and few skills, yet earns millions every year by merely existing. I applaud her success, as well as her husband’s. Well done, Kanye and Kim. You have turned ego and vanity into extraordinary wealth and success.

What I do not understand is how they positioned themselves to be the most influential married couple on Earth. According to Time Magazine, they are more influential than Bill and Hillary Clinton, and could hold their own against the combined forces of Pope Francis and Vladimir Putin. They have the power of the Titans of old, with great strength, intellect and importance. Billions of people hang on their every word and are subject to their wisdom. Whether loved or despised, their great power is always respected. According to Time Magazine.

This means that world leaders and entertainment moguls are lining up to hear Kim Kardashian’s sage thoughts, while bluegrass, country and folk musicians are begging Kanye West for ideas. Really? Dear Time Magazine, are you sure? While Vladimir Putin and Hillary Clinton have significant influence on my life as well as the lives of billions of people, I do not know anyone who gives a rip what Kanye West and Kim Kardashian think, say or do. No one at all. To the vast majority of people on Earth, Kanye and Kim are the punch-line of the Fish-stick joke. They make most folk roll their eyes and snort with a mixture of laughter and disgust. Kanye West is simply a spoiled little boy who throws temper tantrums when he does not get what he wants. Not even the 9th Circuit Court would dare equate West to influential. As for Kim Kardashian, there isn’t anyone who can even explain why she is famous in the first place, let alone name anything productive she brings to the table.

What if Time Magazine is right? What if Kanye and Kim really do sway the masses? That is a good question, and it’s answer lies the movie Idiocracy. That is the only world where these two are really important.